The Secret to Communicating with Rejection-Sensitive Kids

Everybody has childhood memories of upsetting an adult and knowing that they will punish them for disappointing them in some way. We recall the burden of our guilt and our deep-seated sense of guilt.

We recall the times we were handled with empathy and understanding just as much as the sighs, screams, and criticisms. Even though they were unaware of it, the adults in our life were using nonviolent communication techniques with us during those sympathetic moments.

I believe that children with ADHD and rejection sensitivity respond particularly well to nonviolent communication (NVC). I strive to live according to this strategy every day as a parent with ADHD raising a child with ADHD. Also try Adderall AD 30mg in the USA!

What Is Nonviolent Communication?

Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. developed NVC to help people express themselves and deal with conflict (in relationships, at work, in school, etc.) without blaming, humiliating, or feeling guilty about others.

NVC focuses on four elements:

Observation is paying attention to what you hear or observe rather than labels or assessments.

• Feelings: recognizing and communicating your true feelings, not ideas masquerading as emotions.
• Needs: realizing that emotions result from needs being satisfied or not.
• Requests: requesting precise, well-defined actions to address needs.

Although NVC encompasses much more, its central tenet is that we must remove our "adult" hats and treat our children as equals. I am aware that this is easier said than done, having grown up in a home where children were seen rather than heard. However, a youngster cannot acquire respect until they are treated with it. Additionally, youngsters pick up effective communication skills through effective communication themselves.

5 Ways to Practice Nonviolent Communication with ADHD Kids

To strengthen your bond with your child and apply the NVC principles to your everyday interactions, follow these steps.

1. Use “I” statements.

Rather than: Quit scattering your belongings around! I stumbled over your belongings once more! Stop being so indolent!
Nonviolent response: I notice that your backpack and shoes are on the ground. I get annoyed when I trip over your belongings. I get hurt too. Please put your belongings away throughout the next minute.

2. Avoid hyperbole.

Avoid using absolutes like "always" or "never," and try not to overstate your child's actions. Keep an eye out for concepts that pose as emotions.

Rather than: You consistently leave the refrigerator door open and go on! When I tell you to exercise more caution, you never pay attention. You just don't seem to care, in my opinion.

Nonviolent response: The refrigerator door was open when I got home today. We have to replace some of our ruined food, which irritates me.

3. I feel __ because…

To help your youngster understand why something is important, make a connection between your requirements and your feelings.

Rather than asking, "Why are you making so much noise?" I'm trying to work; can't you see that?

Nonviolent response: I'm tense because I have to concentrate on my work, but these sounds keep diverting me. Would you go to another room or turn down the volume on your iPad or voice so I can finish?

4. Focus on responsibility, not blame.

Let's return to the aforementioned scenario of an open refrigerator door.

Rather than: You are solely to blame for the food going bad.

Nonviolent response: We'll have to purchase new food. Would you be able to contribute from your allowance?

For our youngsters who are sensitive to rejection, this idea is crucial. Changing the focus from blame to responsibility helps kids focus on how they can improve problems and lessens crippling shame.

5. Let your child speak.

even if they're hormonal or grumpy. even if they appear unreasonable and cry. You have to give your child a voice, even if they blame everything else for their actions. It's your responsibility to validate and listen.

Rather than: I'm not to blame for your tardiness in finishing your schoolwork! I don't want to talk to you at all if you can't treat me with dignity.

Nonviolent response: I hear you mention that you need a reminder because you forget about your schoolwork. You mention that it's difficult to concentrate on further work after school. Together, we can devise a strategy to prevent you from falling behind or becoming overburdened.

It's crucial to paraphrase what your child says. When children hear their own words reflected back to them with empathy, it soothes them. It demonstrates to them that they are deserving of being heard because they are.